Follow-up to the Meltdown

Don't worry...

I didn't crawl up in depression after my last post.

I actually have had a great couple of days. 

This schedule is working out great!

Here are a few things I love about it:

I can change it.  Which means, I can add things when I need to, I can move things around.  But I can see the time I have to work with.  Like this week, I always hang out with Carrie on Thursdays at 1:00.  But I am working tomorrow afternoon.  I looked at my schedule, saw some green time this afternoon (which means extra time), called Carrie and said, "Hey, can you hang out today."  She could so it was perfect!

Devotions are scheduled in.  Let's be honest, if I see the words clean house on my schedule I am not going to ignore it.  Same is true for the word devotion.  If I see it, I am going to do it.

Green spaces.  This is the empty time.  Which means I can get something else done and be working ahead, I can meet up with a friend or with Rob for lunch, I can work at the kids school, exercise, I can read a book, or bake, or whatever...the list goes on.  But at least I know I have room to wiggle!  (Hahaha...that is kinda funny.)

Carved out time to play with my kiddos.  This is precious time.  When they get home from school, I know I have a few hours before dinner has to start cooking and I can just be with them.  Yesterday Broderick and I played a game...it was great!

One load a day.  I have never been a huge fan of the one load of laundry a day philosophy.  You see, I like to feel accomplishment.  And if clothes are in the hamper, that is not accomplishment.  But I decided to give it a try.  So far, so good.  I get up at 6:00 throw the laundry in, put it in the dryer or hang it up right before the kids get on the bus, and then fold it around lunch time.  We will see if this one lasts. 

All in all, this schedule is helping me feel a little more sane, happy and organized. 

mini meltdown

Do you ever have them?

Sometimes they are BIG meltdowns.  You know the ones...sobbing, snot, anger.

And sometimes they are mini...frustration, a few tears, then a smile.

Yesterday was a mini one for me.

It started in the morning.  I was getting ready for work and this thought came to my mind, "I feel like I am doing a lot of things, half-hearted."  Do you ever feel like that?  Like you have 1,000 balls in the air, you don't want to keep juggling any of them but you know you have to.  Then one hits the floor.  It was the most important one, but you were so focused on the other 999 balls that don't matter as much as that one.  Make sense?

That is how I was feeling.  Except I wasn't dropping 1 ball, I was dropping lots.

I should make it known that I have a problem of over committing.  I tell everyone yes, because I like to do things to help people, and I don't want to make anyone angry.  So what happens is, I can have things to do like clean, or laundry or whatever.  Someone calls and wants to meet for lunch.  (Who doesn't want to meet for lunch?) So I ignore all the other stuff and go to lunch.  By the time I get home I still have things to do and I know the kids will be home soon.  That the makes the rest of my day/night crazy. 

Back to yesterday...I knew I had time in my days to go to lunch or exercise, or read a book, but everything was running together and I was feeling crazy.  Not to mention, I was doing things after the kids get home from school when all I really wanted to do was be totally focused on them.  I mean, I only get about 2 hours a night with them at this point...I need to really make it count.

When I got off work I called Rob and told him all of this.  He said, "Tonight let's make some coffee, and figure this out."  God bless this man!  So that's what we did.  I started by making a list of things that I think need to get done.  Clean house, laundry, dishes, grocery shop, time with the Lord, work, clean moms...you get the point.  Then my brilliant husband got out the computer and made me an Excel spreadsheet.  He has never been more attractive to me than in that moment.  You see, he took time to help me figure out my day.  He cared about my day, he was invested in me. 

After about 2 1/2 hours we had carved out time for all the things on my list.  And wouldn't you know I have EXTRA time.  (So call me...we will do lunch!  HA!)

Then today I was reading this and it made me super thankful for my hubby!

Oh, and 2 totally random things:
1.  I am loving the Phil Phillips album.  Have you listened to it?  It is great!
2.  I did the 30 day shred on Tuesday, Insanity onThursday and Zumba today.  Needless to say, my legs are killing me!

Reclaiming My Territory

So it turns out I am a little territorial.

Of my house that is.

I loved having the kids and my hubby home.  Loved it.  But I did not love the new Christmas toys out all over, the dust bunnies (or should I say bears?  Yeah, they were more like bears.) under the couch, the Christmas tree and all of its needles, the never ending dishes,the inch of dust on the entertainment stand, the toothpaste smeared down the kids bathroom sink, or the stockings still hanging by the chimney with care!  All of that had to go.

I don't like to clean when stuff is out everywhere, so my hubby worked super hard Friday and Saturday to get the kids toys put away, so I could clean today. 

This house was a mess.  Seriously.  I don't think I have cleaned since we have been back from Disney, so you can imagine the horror. 

So today, the kids got on the bus, I made an Apple Pie Smoothie (that was out of this world), turned up Phil Phillips (loving him right now), and reclaimed my territory.
It never felt so good.  It shines, my friends!  I swear I saw the sparkle on the sink.  Swear. 

So for the next 15 minutes, before anyone gets home I am going to enjoy my sparkly house!

What Have I Done?

I will tell you...

I started a 10 day Raw Food Detox.  And I really didn't want to post about it, but I have a lot going on in my head so I am going to.  (So if you don't want to hear about it, stop reading.  And no...my blog is not going to become a healthy food blog.  If you want to read one of those go to Wholesome Bits.  It is great, and Jenna is the one who started this crazy detox.)

Anyway...

I decided to do it to jump start myself to eating better.  I really eat terribly.  We have talked about this...coffee for breakfast, tea for lunch, chips for a snack, normal dinner.  So my thinking was, if I eliminate most things and eat 3 meals and healthy snack it would get me off to a good start.  I do believe it has done that along with a few other things.

I am only on day 3 and I have learned a thing or two.  (or 5 and counting)

1.  Hot food just tastes good sometimes.
2.  I can live without coffee.  As much as I love my Grande Non-fat Cinnamon Dulce w/ whip, I have survived!
3.  I do actually feel better.  Days 1 & 2 I was grouchy, mainly because I just wanted what I wanted.  (said coffee drink.)  My stomach has not hurt for 3 days, which is awesome since it does almost every night.
4.  I find to much pleasure in food.  Why else would I get grouchy because I can't have something?  I just kept thinking, and still am, if I could just have coffee mentioned above.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  I really like my coffee.  After realizing that food brings me much joy I began to think, "Have I made this an idol?"  Do I look to food to bring me joy and not the Lord?  I think I would have to answer yes.  Which hurts to even say.  Food more important than the Lord!  (This is just day 3...what am I going to learn the next 7 days?)  I am still working through all this.
5.  I can do this.  Each night I go to bed and think, "I am just going to eat what I want tomorrow."  Then I wake up feeling refreshed and think, "I can do this."  I actually like what I am eating and have not felt hungry.  I just really want something hot besides tea. 

All that to say that when day 10 is over, I am getting a Grande Non-fat Cinnamon Dulce w/ whip, thanking the Lord that I can buy one, and going to still try and eat this way for at least breakfast and lunch.  So here is to the next 7 days...or how long I last!

I think I Might be on Speed

Over the past few weeks I have been feeling MUCH better.  If you read this post, you know I was feeling pretty bad.  I have been taking the vitamins for a little over a month now and I can tell. 

My energy level is back to normal...or maybe even better. 
Just today I went to the doctor, walked for an hour, ran a ton of errands, dropped off about 25 bags of clothes to Apex, finished our Halloween costumes, laundry and now I am making dinner. 
Had this been two weeks ago I would have collapsed after the walk!

Maybe Iron, Vitamin D and C work together like crack...or speed...or something.  Either way, they are helping me feel better.

I will say, my legs are still hurting, so if you could please pray about that.  I go back to the doctor at the end of November so we will see what she does then.

Until then...I will keep taking my concoction of speed!

It Has Happened (or is happening!)

What? you ask.

I am embarrassing my kids...Broderick anyway.

Here is how it has begun to go down.

Have you seen this adorable outfit on Pinterest?

Cute, right?

Thanks to this outfit I have been on the hunt for pink jeans.  I found some yesterday while we were out shopping so I tried them on.  (Unfortunately at this time I had both kids with me.)  So we all crammed into the dressing room and I proceeded to jump and squirm into the pants.  Broderick then says, "Mom, you can't wear pink pants unless you are Lady Gaga or Katy Perry!" 

What!?  I lost it.  Right there in the dressing room.  There is a little bit of truth to what he said.  I looked nothing like the adorable, size 2, blonde pictured above.

As if that wasn't enough for a mom in one day...

Last night I was putting Broderick to bed.  I asked him if he wanted to ride bikes to school in the morning.  He said, "Yes.  Your bike is just so orange!" 
(I am thinking, my bike is awesome!)
I said, "okay, so does that mean you don't want to ride to school?"
B:  "No, we can.  I mean, it will still be a little dark so people won't see that it is so bright!"
Me: (choking, laughing, trying not to cry) "okay, while if you don't want to that is fine."

I came out laughing and told Rob what transpired.  It really was very funny.  I just can't believe that I am starting to embarrass him already. 

We did ride bikes to school this morning.  If only I would have had pink jeans to wear while riding my orange bike!

Thankful Thursday

Last week I had some blood work done because I wasn't feeling good. 

Turns out I am anemic.

Now, if you have talked to me in the last week you know this.  Because it is kind of consuming my thoughts.  I have posted before about how I worry, so as you can imagine I have been well...a little worried. 

Remember last week I posted about always being thankful. 

Today, I am choosing to be thankful I am anemic.  (I mean let's be honest, it could have been a lot worse.)  I don't want to sound super spiritual by being thankful for this, because I am not.  In fact, I was talking to my hubby last night and he was the one who encouraged me to thank the Lord for this.  (First I had to confess my doubt.  Because the Bible says, "Do not be anxious about anything."  and I was, so I needed to confess that.)

All that being said, I am also thankful I get to go see Needtobreathe in concert tonight!!!!

Contagion

Have you seen this movie?

If you haven't, and are a germaphobe, don't! 

If you have, I bet you are a germaphobe now! 

It is about an infectious disease that spreads rapidly and it pretty short lived, but you die.  There of course is no cure or vaccine. 

It really was a good movie. 

There is only one problem...

Now I am worried about all the germs everywhere!  I literally have washed my hands or used hand sanitizer about 15 times today. 

I keep thinking about all the germs on carts and doors and food!
Which I guess isn't a bad thing, as long as I don't take it to an extreme.

Tell me...have you seen it.  What did you think?

I am off now to disinfect my house make cookies!

Have a wonderful day.

Keepin' It Real People

Yesterday a friend (well, my best friend) and I were talking, like we do everyday, and we briefly discussed blogging, like we have many times before. She doesn't have a blog, but she totally should. (Another post for another day!) It is so easy to read someone's blog and begin to compare yourself.

...your looks.

...your style.

...your parenting.

...your income.

...your creativity.

Can I just say this is not healthy. To be honest, that is why my blog was private for awhile. I was beginning to compare and think negatively about my self. So I took my blog private and stopped reading other peoples. It helped. Obviously, my blog is public again and I read more blogs than I should. However, I see them through different eyes. My friend made the comment that she read some blogs yesterday and when she was done was feeling down about herself. I don't EVER want people to read my blog and feel that way. I blog because I love to. Because I want a record of all these memories. Because I want to encourage others. Not to make others feel bad or make myself look like something I am not. It is so easy to write what we want others to know about us. To write things to make us look good. To write things so others form certain opinions about us. So today, I am going to be real and let you see some of the real me.
(Because you can't see all of it just this one time!)

I hate exercising, unless it is Zumba, and I love to eat junk food. Most days I don't eat until 2 and if I do it is candy or chips.

I yell at my kids...often.

I am not creative at all. I just copy other peoples ideas.

My kids watch a lot of tv most days.

I struggle with being insecure.

I hate the grocery store and think it is torture to take my children there.

I wanted 5 kids before we had Broderick. I could not handle more than the 2 I have.

My husband and I fight.

Sometimes , okay a lot of the time, I get a bad attitude about doing things for my family.

I love my kids and doing fun things with them, but I also love rest time at 2:00!

I have gotten into this terrible habit of sleeping until about 8:00. My kids play in their rooms if they wake up before that.

My favorite place to shop is Goodwill.

I don't read the Bible or have a devotion with my kids everyday. In fact, Sunday morning Carys said, "Mom, we need to start reading the Bible again." Hows that for conviction!

So there you have it. A few things about me that I wouldn't normally want to share with the masses. But...it is part of me.

Off my game

Do you ever have those days...
weeks...
months...?

Where you just feel off? Nothing is going like it "should?" You have a plan or routine, but it just isn't working out? Well, I have felt that way for awhile now. I can't figure it out. I don't know if it is because of...
the rain...
the end of the school year...
laziness...
boredom.

My meal planning has gone to the crapper. My house is barely clean. I only put myself together if I have to. I get done, what I have to get done.

This is not gonna fly. Summer is almost here and with both the kids home, I need a plan!

I love doing fun stuff with the kids and making great memories, so in an effort to do so I am going to come up with some fun things to do:

We of course will do the summer reading club at the library.
I have officially made Wednesday "Park and Picnic day."
I will plan one "crafty" thing a week.
Go to the pool. (If it ever warms up.)
Thursdays are "hang out with Carrie day."
And as always...Friday Fun Day.
Carys requested eating out of muffin tins again for lunch.
I must figure out a way to make doing some school work fun.

If I don't have a good game plan...we will end up watching way to much tv, playing way to much wii, and basically wasting the summer. And that doesn't sound fun at all!

So I am off to clean something. Look for new recipes. Find some fun crafts. Get myself put together. And just maybe...get some Starbucks. (The new Coconut Mocha is awesome...and I don't even like coconut!)

Looking on the bright side

Is there a bright side...of the weather that is. I think it has literally rained for the last month. I am really tired of it and really wish it was about 65 and sunny, but I am trying to not complain and look on the bright side

At least...
it is not a tornado.
I still have a house to keep me dry.
I get to wear my rain boots.
I don't have to keep sunscreen on.
my grass is really green.
the kids are getting plenty (probably to much) Wii time in.
I have a new roof.
I can still wear my warm and cozy pink North Face Fleece.
I don't need to wear sandals because I haven't had a pedi yet! YIKES!
the kids can stomp in puddles.

There is still a lot to be thankful for!

Pissy or Pleasant???

WARNING: This post may contain vulgar language. (i.e. "pissy")

I went to bed last night already having a bad outlook on today. Due to that, I did not sleep well. I woke up feeling the same way. I was being faced, yet again, with the temptation of sin that I have been dealing with for months, needed to go clean my dad's house that he just moved out of, roofers making a ton of noise while working to take the old shingles off, trying to eat good, and the list could go on and on.

But...

Before I even stepped foot out of bed I prayed, "Lord, this day does not belong to Satan. Please help me to not let him control my thoughts. This is your day. Help me to honor you with it!"
Then a sweet little boy came and cuddled up to me in bed. Joy came over me at that moment.
The day began like almost every other Thursday...trying to get one tired Broderick off to school. (This usually means whining and arguing.) I remembered my prayer and prayed it again. This turned the morning around and Broderick was off to school with a smile.
As the morning went on I was still struggling with feeling pissy. Carys has been on spring break and at my side for 4 straight days. Don't get me wrong, she is super sweet! She just loves to be with me, or anyone for that matter. She wanted to put on fancy dresses this morning and dance with me. (In case you are wondering, this is not the way I would choose to spend my morning.) Since I was trying to have an attitude that honors God I did dance with her...in my pjs. All the while praying, "Lord, this is your day. Capture my thoughts."
I did go clean my dads and thankfully got done in time to meet up with 2 fabulous ladies at Chik-fil-A to let the kids play. This was good for me and good for Carys!

God used this simple act to change my attitude from pissy to pleasant. I was able to have great conversation with great friends while Carys played her little heart out. Now I can be thankful for the loud men on my roof. I mean, I am getting a new roof. I can be thankful for my sweet little Carys that wants hugs all the time. I can be thankful that the Lord is oh so patient with me. I can be thankful that my dad paid me to clean his apartment. I can be thankful I have options of things to eat. I am choosing to be pleasant!
(With the help of a lot of prayer!!!)

Are you being pissy or pleasant?