Rob and I had the privilege of going to see Jason Mraz in concert the other night. It was just perfect! The weather was great! My date was smokin' HOT! The people watching was top notch, and the music, well...it was Jason Mraz! Can I just say that he sounds better live! Not many people are that talented. And he is stinkin' hilarious!
You might know this about me, and I am sure I have posted about it before, but I am what some would call a worry-wart.
I have always known this about myself, but it became very evident on vacation. I found myself sitting on the beach, trying to relax, but this is what was going on in my head:
Broderick is going out in the waves to far.
What if he gets stung by a jellyfish...or worse, bitten by a shark.
Now Carys is getting out to far.
"Rob, they are out way to far. Tell them to come back."
They are going to get sun burnt. I need to put more sunscreen on them...and me!
What if we get bed bugs!?
Those clouds look awfully dark. We should probably get out of the water.
I don't know if we should eat at this restaurant. What if Rob has an allergic reaction?
What if the kids have an allergic reaction?
And on, and on, and on it went.
On the way home I told Rob that I realized I really can't relax. Even if there is nothing to worry about, I create something.
I almost had myself convinced last weekend that I had West Nile Virus or Cancer. (Turns out it is a cold!)
I am sure you are laughing, because this all seems comical. But it is a real life struggle for me. I have no doubt I could walk into my doctor's office and get some meds. The trouble is...I don't actually need meds. My problem is a faith, or lack of faith.
Yesterday the kids devotion was this:
"But seek first His Kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."
(Then it goes on to say, from the prospective of Jesus) You may not notice me because your mind is tied up with other things. Like worry. A lot of people believe that worry is just a part of life. But they are wrong. Worry is actually a kind of unbelief. Worrying says you don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much. Worrying is says you think I need your help. Wrong! I am big enough. I am strong enough. I love you enough. Bring your problems to Me. You can trust Me to take care of you - and whatever you are worrying about!
I closed that book and thought WOW! Nothing like hitting me smack in the middle of the eyes...and heart. So my journey begins of daily confessing my sin to the Lord and trusting that He is BIG enough!
Tomorrow will be one week that my sweet babes have been in school. They have loved it and are really enjoying 1st and 3rd grade. They have had good mornings (this has in the past been a rough time), good bus rides, good days and great afternoons.
My days have been...long! I have learned a few things over the last week...
it is very quite at home and in the car by myself.
they house stays clean for long periods of time.
it takes me about 1/2 the time to do things, like clean and grocery shop, than normal. (I rode my bike to the grocery and library and it only took 30 minutes!)
I can only clean so much.
I like baking, but not cooking meals.
It is weird to talk on the phone and not have someone ask for a snack or drink.
I don't like to sit at home and do nothing.
Pretty much...I am bored most days. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a stay at home mom. I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't ever want to go back to work part time. There are plenty of things I enjoy about the kids being at school. Like I can make a phone call and not be interrupted or ride my bike to the store. I love being able to keep a clean house and mow the lawn for Rob. I enjoy not being stressed out with all things that need to get done in the evening. (I am not bashing working moms...I have a huge respect for woman who have to work and raise a family. It is a tough enough job without working full time.) But the bottom line is, my family bring me so much joy! I am happiest when I am with Rob and the kids. I love see the kids run off the bus with a smiling face. And then I can squeeze them and talk about their day. (Then 15 minutes later they are whining and I am losing my mind! HA!)
Needless to say, I am still adjusting and figuring out my new schedule. I start working next wee,k 2 mornings a week, which will be good. Until then...anyone want to go to lunch!?? HAHAHAHAH!
Siblings share a bond that is so special. So unique. Unbreakable.
Some siblings don't ever get along. Some siblings fight when they are little and then grow up to be great friends. And there are some who genuinely love each other. Look out for each other. Care and protect each other.
From the first moment Broderick met his sister he loved her. He wanted to grab her and hold her, sometimes a little to rough. But he couldn't keep his hands off her.
I had prayed that they would share a bond and love that was unexplainable.
I said to Rob while we were on vacation, "They genuinely like each other!" (Don't get me wrong, they annoy each other and fight, but over all they like playing and being together.) I always thought that they got along, but it was different on vacation. Broderick would take Carys' hand and walk out into the waves with her. They wanted to ride the rides together and not with Rob and I. They hugged and laughed together. It was so special to watch. This picture below captures exactly what I mean. Rob simply said, "Go stand up there and face the ocean." Neither one of us said, "act like you like each other." Or "Hug each other."
It was natural for them.
I am so thankful for the love and bond that Broderick and Carys share. And I pray it is something that is never broken but only strengthened. I also pray it is something others see as a gift from he Lord.
Usually I am so excited...
I would have my charts printed up.
I would have teacher gifts ready to go.
I would have a new hair bow for Carys.
I would have gifts and goodies for the kids.
I have none of that. Truth of the matter is...
I am NOT excited.
We have had a great summer and it has just gone to fast. I know, I should be thankful for the time we had. Which I am. I just want more!
This year is especially hard for me because they will both be all day. I am hung up on the fact, that I will be eating lunch by myself most days. I have had 2 little companions to eat with for 8 1/2 years. While some of those lunches I did not enjoy, I will miss this terribly. (Even writing this gets me a little teary eyed!)
As I sit out back and watch them play I think, "Really, where did the time go?" When I was changing diapers, and chasing them around, and disciplining what felt like every action, I never thought about this moment. The night before they both would be away from me for more of the day than they are with with. I never thought about the day I would be packing 2 lunches. I never thought about the day I would go back to work.
That day is here...
and it is TOMORROW!
Please pray for me and my family as we transition into this new phase of life. Every new step has been a blessing and I have no doubt God has good things planned for this year as well!
A week of ice cream.
A week of little responsibility.
A week of doing fun stuff.
A week of Rockuccino.
A week of waves, sun and sand.
Yup...it was pretty much perfect!
We did some new things...
And some old...
After not being at the beach for 2 years it was great to be back. We have gone to the same place since Carys was one and Broderick was 3. It was our first family vacation!
Hard to believe. This trip was a lot different than the first. The kids spent most of the time in the waves and not in the sand. The first year we had two strollers, this year we had none. No naps this year and lots of late nights.